what do u think about therapies?

[Araceli Sandoval]

Hi everyone, my daughters child stim/physical therapist was over yesterday as usual for Brianna's therapy, (Brianna is almost 22 months)... and this therapist Vicky has been working a lot with Brianna on how to crawl Brianna made huge improvements in the last I want to say 2-3 months from rolling and not being interested in crawling AT ALL.

Vicky showed me ways to start Brianna out example putting her in crawling position and swinging her back and forth moving her legs with my hands etc all of a sudden Brianna started doing this on her own, she would get in crawling position and just stay put, within weeks she started wiggling around then she started doing her commando crawl and now just these last few days all of a sudden she started crawling on hands and knees... I am SOOO happy... like HAPPY HAPPY lol this is huge I was starting to lose hope that I would ever see my baby crawl as she passed 12 months 13, 14, 15, 16,17,18,19 and was 20 months and not crawling I was getting sad... and it seems like out of no where she started crawling...

OK the real question and what I am trying to understand is when Vicky started being her therapist she evaluated Brianna along with her coordinator at the Regional Center/ Early Intervention Services and they said to me "she is ready to crawl i can see her crawling in 4 weeks" as good as that sounded to me and wished i could believe... I didnt I was like well that would be nice but she isnt even interested she cries when you put her in crawling position.... well now I feel bad for underestimating my child.

Ok well she was over yesterday and she saw that Brianna is starting to pull up on our sofa and other furiture and attempts to cruise the furniture but has little to no balance and falls... she is quick to say "OH SHE IS READY TO MOVE ON TO WALKING SHE WILL BE WALKING IN LESS THAN 6 MONTHS FOR SURE". ok my problem is as wonderful as this sounds and as happy as this would make me, how does she say this like she is so sure, yeah it happened with the crawling but hey she just started crawling now you want to move on to walking It doesnt make sense I want to be more realistic and say she will be walking in 12-16 months and this before Vickys comment was wishing and this would be soon for me based on the ideas that I had made in my head, but now after the crawling thing and Vickys comment it makes me feel like if I dont have faith that she will be walking in 6 months like if I dont believe in my daughter and I do I think she will do it when she is ready... I just dont want to set a date for thes things... anyone understand what I just vented and blurted out?

[matthewsmom]

Hi Araceli,

Welcome to the message board! For others here who don't know you, I want to say that I have had the pleasure of e-mailing with you and keeping in touch for quite awhile now and it's great to have you here!

And I am SO super happy for you that Brianna is crawling!!! Wow! That is absolutely wonderful news.

My own son, Matthew, didn't learn to crawl until he was somewhere between 2 and 2 1/2 years old so I completely understand the feeling sad and beginning to lose hope feeling.

I can also relate to the "seems like out of no where she started crawling" statement you made. There were quite a few times that I was seriously questioning IF Matthew would learn certain things we worked and worked on for months and months and sometimes a year or more and then like a bolt of lightning he learned it and I was shocked as I watched him finally doing something that I wondered if he would ever do!

We actually worked with Matthew (his Early Intervention Therapist) in our home for over a year on crawling and Matthew just didn't learn it so the physical therapist said we could just move on to cruising the furniture and walking and that's what we did without Matthew learning to crawl but it was within a few weeks or so after we began the learning to cruise therapy that Matthew started crawling so all of that therapy work to learn to crawl was being processed inside Matthew and he did it. We kept working on the cruising and walking even though he had just started to learn to crawl.

I don't recall having any of Matthew's therapists giving me a certain time frame to expect when he would learn to do something and I can see where it would cause you to question how the therapist can be so sure as to when she can see Brianna learning something. On the other hand, I also think that having a therapist who is motivated and positive and full of gung ho spirit is a good thing too. It doesn't necessarily mean that you have to agree with the therapist's time frame given of when she expects or predicts or estimates when Brianna will learn to do something she is working with her on though.

Yes, I do understand what you "vented and blurted out" I can see, from a parent's perspective, that it is also painful and disappointing to get your hopes up and believe that your child will learn to cruise or walk at a predicted time and then perhaps see that time come and go without your child learning the skill. There is always that possibility but there is also the possibility that your child will learn the skill and maybe even in the predicted time frame that the therapist sees....maybe it will take a little longer or maybe not quite as long but however long it takes....let yourself always keep the door open to the possibility and continue working on each new skill believing that you are doing everything possible for Brianna to help her develop to her fullest potential.

You said one thing that speaks loud and clear:

"I just dont want to set a date for these things..."

Then just don't. That's ok.

My best advice is try not to focus too much on WHEN she will learn the skill. You don't have to set a date for when she will learn new things. Keep in the back of your mind (if you want to) that Brianna's therapist sees her walking in 6 months and do all you can for Brianna to help her achieve that goal of walking. If the 6 months come and go and Brianna still isn't yet walking then you won't be as disappointed but you will still know that she WILL walk and you will keep working on teaching her how to walk until she learns.

I'm so glad that you're here and I look forward to all that you share.

Congratulations that Brianna IS crawling!!!

Sandie *Mom to 15 year old Matthew with complete ACC*

[aracelibriesmom]

Sandie,

Thank you very much for your reply it is ALWAYS very soothing and helpful. I will keep in mind all that you said... and I have also decided I will appreciate her therapist's positive attitude and still as a mommy not set a time frame or date for Brianna to do anything... she is her own time table!

Thank you to the rest who have read this post!

Araceli, mommy to now 23 month old Brianna with C ACC

[matthewsmom]

Araceli,

I'm so glad that you have made peace (and were able to come to a positive resolution) with the therapy walking goal for your daughter, Brianna.

Sandie *Mom to 15 year old Matthew with complete ACC*

[acmunchkin]

We have had almost the exact same experiences! My son Kyle is 26 months old and did not crawl until 22 months and they said the same thing for him. His therapist has always done that and I finally talked to her and let her know that Kyle is Kyle and will do things in his own time. I asked her to please not give me a timeline unless I ask but I don't do be in a position to be disappointed with my kiddo. He is fearfully and wonderfully made and deserves to have us celebrate what he can do and not be upset about what he can't. She understood where I was coming from and doesn't give us timelines anymore!

April
Mommy to Ky (2yrs old C-ACC) and Cody (4yrs old)

[aracelibriesmom]

acmunckin,
Thx for the reply... it feels so good to have someone who understands where I am coming from. My mother in law didnt seem to understand why this upset me so much.

We should celebrate and be extreamly over joyed at what our kiddos CAN do and we should NOT be disappointed or upset at what they arent able to do... just yet!
Maybe I will talk to her therapists today... one of them comes today the other on thursday.
Keep the updates coming on Kyle

araceli
Mommy to Brianna with C-ACC

[April]

LOL! I just read my reply and I am surprised you could read it! I am so sorry!! What I meant to say was that I didn't want be put in a position to be disappointed with Kyle when he is such a fantastic little person. I have learned to be outspoken when people give timelines or pity Kyle. I told someone the other day that felt sorry for Ky because he had a walker that it was a tool at our house and not a burden. They just smiled and said they had never considered that as a possibility and left. I am never rude, I just try to help people understand that there are two sides to everything and though special needs can be heartbreaking, it is our reality and that of our kiddos. There are soooooo many highs and few really lows!

Have a blessed day!

[aracelibriesmom]

I understood what you meant.

Yeah I am way over hearing the "poor baby poor thing I fees so bad for her" My kid doesnt only have some developmental delay she also is 100% tube fed and I get a lot of comments like "oh poor thing if only she could eat by mouth I feel so bad for her" and sometimes I dont know how to respond to that. Well, I am her mother so if anyone feels bad that Brianna cannot eat and drink by mouth I feel it the most... and also after tube feeding her for over 16 months and counting this is life it is our normal... Of course one day I wish to go back to bottles and spoons but as of now dont feel bad for my child you know what I mean lol she is the happiest jumpiest loud smiley beautiful little girl I have ever seen (lol well I am mommy)

Congrats on ALL that Kyle has accomplished, he sure does sound like a fantastic little prince!

Also GOOD call on the walker being used as a tool, sometimes I run short on what to say to people when I get weird comments... lol like when a girl once said to me "whats the point of feeding her through her stomach if she cant taste anything" lol lol I did not know what to reply I mean she is 28 she should know better... you get what I am saying.

Araceli
Mommy to Brianna c-ACC 23months

[acmunchkin]

Yeah.....sometimes people just don't think. It is hard to think of nice things to say because to have to take the comment in the spirit in which it is given and people aren't trying to be mean. But I really do have my moments where I want to say.....I am going to forget that you said that and let you try again.

Sounds like your little princess and my little monkey have quite a bit in common!

[aracelibriesmom]

I try very hard... to not say mean stuff back lol

It does sound like our precious princess and precious monkey have lots in common... i love reading your posts on all topics. Thanks for being part of this.

Araceli